5 Ways to Get Your Kids to Work More Independently

Getting kids to work independently can be a huge battle. One of the biggest things we hear from parents is that they wish their kids would just get their work done without having to be told what to do on each step… That homework would just happen when it needs to, without constant reminders…That they;d be able to do chores, assignments, tests, etc. without needing constant support…

Fostering independence in kids is one of the most powerful gifts we can give them. The ability to do a task efficiently and in a timely manner will serve them well in any future career or academic setting, and there are things you can start doing now to help them.

Here are Some Strategies to Help Your Kids to Learn How to Work Independently:

The truth is that independent work is a skill that needs to be built and strengthened. Some kids are naturally motivated, while others require external motivation factors to keep them engaged. Here are some big-picture strategies to get you started, but the specifics are going to vary widely based on your child’s needs and personality.

#1: Make It a Routine

If there’s something that you want your child to do independently, build it into their day. Whether it’s brushing their teeth, emptying the dishwasher, practicing spelling words, or completing homework, having a dedicated time for that task specifically can help give your child a framework for getting it done. 

#2: Limit Distractions

If your child is easily distracted from the task at hand and most of your redirections are focused around ignoring distractions, see if you can create an environment that is less stimulating for them. It could mean turning off the TV or removing the visual temptation of the video game console during homework time. It could also be something different like asking siblings to avoid a certain room while the child completes a task. Whatever the distraction is, setting them up for success in this way can go a long way.

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#3: Set Mini-Goals and Rewards

If “get your homework done” is too big of an ask for your child to do independently, see if you can break it down into smaller pieces (with rewards). Kids are often motivated by one of the following strategies:

• Autonomy
• Praise
• Connection/Quality Time
• Food or Treats
• Gifts

Creating a system where there is a clear reward for a defined level of expectation can help them stay more motivated and willing to work independently. 

#4:  Work on Task Organization, Prioritization, and Time Management

If your child feels overwhelmed by the tasks ahead of them, practice breaking them down into smaller chunks together. Organizing what needs to be done, what’s most important, and the best use of their time and energy is a HUGE skill that kids need help to develop. 

Especially for kids with ADHD, this rank-and-file system in the brain functions differently, and they see all tasks as equally important. It’s not always a lack of focus; it’s focusing on EVERYTHING without the ability to rank priorities internally.

As a parent, knowing this difference can allow you to help them externally prioritize things so they can use their time wisely.

#5: Build Executive Functioning Skills

Executive functioning skills determine your ability to approach a task logically and accomplish it systematically. People with executive function issues may struggle with these things:

• Impulse control and emotional regulation
• Getting started, staying organized, planning, and follow-through
• Attention and focus
• Short-term memory (in one ear and out the other)
• Multitasking and balancing distractions and responsibilities
• Learning from past consequences
• Problem-solving
• Learning new information

Schedules, rewards, and supports are all short-term fixes to get through. Building these skills is the root-cause way you’ll be able to help your child become a more confident, independent worker.

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