Strategies to Build Resilience & Help Your Kids Be Mentally Strong

Equipping children with the mental resilience they need to handle challenges is equally important as filling their academic toolbox. Resilience, or the ability to bounce back from adversity, helps kids navigate the ups and downs of all areas of life, from academic pressures to social dynamics. Here are some effective strategies to help your child build resilience and become mentally strong:

1. Encourage a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset, as defined by psychologist Carol Dweck, is the belief that abilities and intelligence can be developed through dedication and hard work. This mindset fosters a love for learning and builds resilience in the face of challenges. Here are some ways to encourage a growth mindset in your kids:

• Praise Effort, Not Just Results: Focus on the hard work and dedication your child shows, rather than just the outcome. This teaches them to value what they can control (their attitudes and efforts), rather than just positive results which are often outside of their control.
• Teach the Power of “Yet”: If your child says they can’t do something, add the word “yet” to the end of the sentence. This simple change reinforces the idea that abilities can be developed with practice and dedication.
• See Mistakes as Opportunities to Learn: We all fail and make mistakes, so it’s important that kids learn to not get bogged down by these inevitable misadventures. Instead, talk through what they learned and what they’d do differently next time without judgment (from you or self-inflicted).
• Model a Growth Mindset: Show your own willingness to learn and grow. When kids see this in real life, they’re more able to see how setbacks and failures are just part of life and something to grow from.

2. Strengthen Relationship to Build Resilience

Supportive relationships with family, friends, and teachers provide children with a sense of security and belonging. These connections are crucial for helping kids navigate stressful situations and develop a strong sense of self-worth. As you help your kids become mentally strong, focus on:

• Quality Time: Spend one-on-one time with your child, engaging in activities they enjoy. This fosters a deeper connection and shows them they are valued regardless of performance.
• Open Communication: Create an environment where your child feels safe to express their feelings and concerns. Listen actively and validate their emotions rather than jumping to trying to fix everything.
• Encouraging Social Connections: Support your child in building friendships and participating in group activities. These experiences teach important social skills and provide a broader support network.

3. Promote Problem-Solving Skills

Children who can effectively solve problems are better equipped to handle the challenges they face. Encourage your child to think critically and explore different solutions to problems by:

• Asking Open-Ended Questions: When your child faces a problem, ask questions that encourage them to think about possible solutions. For example, “What do you think you could do to solve this?” Allow them to try their solutions (even if they won’t always work) so they can learn to trust themselves and pivot when necessary.
• Teaching Decision-Making Skills: Help your child understand the steps involved in making a decision, such as identifying options, weighing pros and cons, and considering potential outcomes.
• Modeling Problem-Solving: Demonstrate how you approach and solve problems in your own life. Let your child see that it’s okay to take time to find the best solution.

Read More: Tips to Help Kids Get Better at Critical Thinking >>

4. Foster Emotional Intelligence

Understanding and managing emotions is a key aspect of resilience. Children who are emotionally intelligent can better cope with stress and form healthier relationships. Lay a solid foundation for your child by:

• Labeling Emotions: Help your child identify and label their emotions. This increases their emotional vocabulary and awareness, as well as their ability to self-advocate when they need help.
• Teaching Coping Strategies: Show your child healthy ways to cope with negative emotions, such as deep breathing, physical activity, or talking about their feelings. Help them realize that asking for help is being independent because they’re advocating for what they need. 
• Model Emotional Regulation: Demonstrate how you manage your own emotions, providing a positive example for your child to follow. Kids can’t learn it if they don’t see it, so work on strategies your whole family can use.

5. Encourage Healthy Risk-Taking to Build Resilience

Taking risks and stepping out of their comfort zone helps children build confidence and resilience. Encourage your child to try new activities and embrace challenges by:

• Setting Realistic Challenges: Encourage your child to set goals that are challenging yet achievable. Celebrate their efforts and progress along the way.
• Providing Support When Necessary (But Give Them Freedom to Fail): Be there to offer guidance and reassurance, but allow your child to take the lead in facing their challenges. Letting them learn how to fail and bounce back while they still have your support will make them more confident in their abilities as they grow up and become independent.
• Reflecting on Experiences: After your child takes a risk, discuss what they learned from the experience, regardless of the outcome. You may be surprised by what insights they walked away with!

Looking for More Tools to Unlock Your Child’s Ability to Learn and Grow?

Unlock the Einstein Inside is a fantastic read on the science behind learning struggles and how you can best support your child’s ability to succeed in all areas of life. Download a FREE digital copy here today: