Preventing Middle School Nightmares Tips for a Trauma-Free Transition

Does the thought of sending your child off to middle school make you anxious?If so, you’re certainly not alone. Many adults have middle schoolmemories of social awkwardness, hormonal upheaval, and the added pressureof more responsibilities with a growing need for more independence.

Now think of your child experiencing these same anxieties! Whether yourchild is transitioning into middle school or junior high, these easy,practical tips can ease the adjustment.

How to start now:

• Help your child prepare. Take advantage of summer transition courses, band and athletic camps, schooltours, open houses, and study groups to help your child connect with otherstudents and also spend time on campus. A sense of familiarity on thatfirst day will be an advantage that will boost confidence.
• Help your child master a lock. A long-time middle school principal insists this is the single most importantthing parents can do to help relieve children’s anxieties. Buy acombination lock and get your child to master it. This may not seem likea big deal, but one of the biggest sources of anxiety for middle schoolkids is the fear of being unable to get into their locker. The abilityto quickly and smoothly open a combination lock will go a long way towardeasing those fears and building confidence.
• Revisit the subject of bullying. Bullying tends to peak in the sixth grade, so this is the perfect timefor a refresher course. According to the National Center for EducationStatistics, nearly a third of all middle and high school students reportedbeing bullied at school in 2007.
• Meet the counselors. This is important for both of you – especially if your child hasany learning or social issues. Don’t wait for the professionalsto come to you, or your child may slip through the cracks. Set up a meetingearly and learn about services offered.
• Get your child tested. Cognitive skills testing is one of the most important assessments any childcan take, especially if that child struggles in school or with attention,memory, processing speed, or other underlying mental skills. A cognitiveskills assessment can pinpoint weak skills, which studies show are responsiblefor up to 88 percent of learning struggles.

If a test identifies one or more weak skills, cognitive training can targetand train those skills. One form of cognitive training is personal braintraining, which incorporates immediate feedback, intensity, and loading,among other features, to target brain skills. Effective brain trainingcustomizes programs based on the results of an initial cognitive skillsassessment and uses exercises founded on years of clinical and scientific research.

Unlike tutoring, which is academics-based, brain training is skills-based.While tutoring can be effective when a student has fallen behind in specificsubjects (such as history) due to an illness, injury, or family move,cognitive skills training targets the underlying skills needed to performtasks (like reading) that make learning easier inany subject.

When the school year starts:

• Encourage participation. The more involved your child is in school and after-school activities,the more likely he or she will be to find friends, familiarity, and acceptanceamong different peer groups.
• Stay engaged. Parental engagement tends to drop off dramatically in middle school eventhough studies show it improves academic achievement. A study from thenonprofit RAND Corporation shows most middle schools do too little toengage parents in the educational process, so you may have to work a littleharder to get into the school and stay involved.
• Offer help when needed. At this age, the frontal lobe – which controls strategizing, planning,organizing, and decision-making, among other things – is still developing.So don’t worry that you’re “babying” a teen ortween who needs a little extra help getting organized or planning.
• Help your child become a self-advocate. Teachers at this level want to see kids advocating for themselves if theywant to dispute a grade or need extra time to complete a project. Talkyour child through how to approach his or her teachers and don’tbe afraid to push some role-playing.

Before you know it, your worries of middle school being a nightmare willbe over, and you’ll be ready to tackle the next transition to preventhigh school horrors!