Basic Life Skills for Kids and Tweens

As your kids head back to school and your family’s rhythms adjust, what better time to begin to instill some basic life skills in your kids and tweens to help them confidently contribute to the home environment!

Maybe your tween is about to get their permit. You want to ensure they can check their oil and put air in their tires. Or perhaps your 10-year-old is eager to learn how to make scrambled eggs and pancakes so they can show off their skills by serving you breakfast in bed one day. (Bonus!) Or it could be that your 7-year-old wants to learn to wash and condition their own hair in the shower. Whatever the skill, lean into teaching them how to do it themself in a way that’s age-appropriate and safe. (Be sure to talk to them about which tasks they can do without supervision and which need to be done only when an adult is home or with them.)

To get you started, we’ve compiled a list of tasks and life skills for kids by age to help you gauge if and when your child might be ready. Don’t worry if some of these feel out of reach right now. These are general guidelines and items will vary based on your child or tween’s maturity, interest, abilities, and circumstances. 

Life Skills for Kids—Ages 6 to 10

1. Laundry. Teach them how (and why) to sort whites and colors, how much (dirty laundry and detergent) to put in the washer, and how to set the washer and dryer. Kids of almost any age can fold, hang, and put away clothes.
2.  Cooking. With caveats for your child’s age and maturity, you can teach them some basic cooking skills that don’t put them at high risk. This could be pouring and flipping pancakes on a griddle, heating up soup on the stove or in the microwave, or marinating and seasoning chicken.
3. Washing dishes. Many kids in this age bracket can load and unload the dishwasher and wash dishes, though you’ll want to have a discussion about knives, mixing blades, and other sharp instruments. 
4. Changing a bed. Kids can strip their own beds and put on clean sheets, pillowcases and blankets. 
5. Basic yard work. Teach them how to identify a weed and pull it, as well as how to rake leaves, shovel snow, water the garden, etc. 
6. Pet care. Kids at this age should know how to provide food, water, exercise, and basic grooming to pets, as well as how to clean a cage, litterbox, or yard full of “landmines.” 
7. Self-advocating. Children at this age should be able to speak up for themselves if they are wrongfully accused of something, need assistance, have to use the bathroom, etc. 
8. Friendships. How to choose friends, how to be a good friend, how to “break up” with a friend, and how to grieve over a friendship are all important skills for kids and adults. 
9. Nutrition. Kids should learn how and why to choose healthy foods and why treats should be consumed in moderation. 
10.  Personal hygiene. Most kids at this age can brush their teeth and wash themselves, but ensure that they’re also flossing, washing their hands after using the bathroom or touching public door handles, railings, shopping carts, etc. This is also the age where some children make the transition from bath to shower, so be sure to teach them not only which products to use, but how to use them and how much is enough to get the job done.

Life Skills for Tweens—Ages 11 to 14

1. Basic house maintenance. Think plunging the toilet, unclogging a drain, changing a light bulb, or cleaning out a full vacuum or wet/dry vac.  
2. Washing, detailing, and maintaining vehicles. Kids can wash cars, detail the interior, and learn the basics of vehicle maintenance, such as putting air in a tire or checking the oil. 
3. Baking and cooking meals. At this age, most kids can make their own lunch, but don’t be afraid to teach them how to bake and cook.
4. Grocery inventory and shopping. With a printed list of staples, tweens can take inventory of the groceries you have and need, prepare a shopping list, and even help with coupons, budgeting, and shopping. 
5. Communication. This is a broad skill, but it can encompass everything from resolving conflict and showing appreciation to apologizing and public speaking.
6. Using a lawnmower and other power tools. Taking your child’s maturity and abilities into consideration, you can teach them to use a push or riding lawn mower, leaf blower, wet/dry vac, power washer, or other power tools—with adult supervision. 
7. Managing money. Many kids this age may have their own bank account. Teach them how to manage their money and plan for long-term goals, such as saving up to buy their first car. You’ll want to teach them to use online banking or an app so they can monitor their finances.
8. Responsibility. Lots of tweens get part-time or summer jobs, whether it’s babysitting, pet sitting, or mowing the neighbors’ grass. Talk to them about the importance of being prompt and courteous and taking responsibility for their commitments and actions. 
9. Coping with emergencies. First aid and CPR are essential skills for anyone, but especially for tweens who are staying home with a younger sibling or babysitting. 
10. Planning. Whether they’re preparing for summer camp, a trip to the beach, or simply saving up for a new bike, planning is an important skill that they’ll need throughout life. Teach them how to make lists (e.g., what to pack), ways to break larger goals into smaller milestones, and how setting goals can help them prioritize what’s important so they can make spur-of-the-moment decisions to stay on track when temptation lures them into spending money, not studying, or not completing paperwork on time. 

When Life Skills Feel Impossible…

If your child or tween seems to be struggling to plan, organize, manage their time, or pay attention, consider having their cognitive skills tested. A Brain Skills Assessment only takes about an hour and it can identify which cognitive skills—such as attention, memory, auditory and visual processing, logic & reasoning, and processing skills—are strong and which are preventing your child from living up to their full learning potential. Because these brain skills can be targeted and trained with one-on-one brain training, kids (and adults!) of all ages have become faster thinkers and learners in ALL areas of life—not just academics!

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These are practical skills that often aren’t taught in school but that your child will need to be able to do to be independent at some point. With a little patience and instruction from you, they’re likely to not only be more capable of taking care of themself over time, but also feel proud of their newly acquired skill set!