5 Reasons Your Child May Dread School It’s chaotic enough to manage various schedules for children. Throw complaints of a stomachache or outright tantrums into the mix and you’ve got the recipe for a disaster. Obviously, genuine illness is a legitimate reason for a child or teen to miss school. But what about the other causes of “school dread”? Here are five of the most common reasons children and teens might dread school. 1. Anxiety Anxiety can affect students of all ages, but it can manifest differently based on experiences. Preschoolers and kindergarteners, for example, may worry about being separated from their parents or siblings. New students may worry about making friends. Students whose families struggle financially may worry about having clean or fashionable clothes. Shy kids may get anxious thinking they’ll be called on in class. Girls may worry about menstruation-related issues at school. Students who hit puberty before (or after) their friends may worry about getting teased or harassed. This list goes on and on. What to do: Although younger children may have trouble expressing (or even fully understanding) what’s causing their anxiety, it’s worth having a discussion about their fears in a calm, neutral environment. Ask specific questions about their day. For example, how they’re treated by their peers, what they need to feel more comfortable throughout the school day, and what they would change about the school experience if it was within their control. Don’t be ashamed to share your own childhood stories and fears; the conversation may provide some enlightening dialogue. For additional expertise, consider enrolling your child in therapy or, at the very least, setting up a meeting with the school counselor. 2. Bullying You need look no further than the movies, TV shows, and after-school specials from the 1980s to get a sense of how bullying (or the perception of bullying) has changed over the last few decades. Where once bullies were typecast as larger-than-life boys who would steal a younger kid’s lunch money and then shove him into a locker, today’s reality may also include cyberbullying, exclusion, hazing, gossiping, sabotage, and starting rumors. Students may feel too embarrassed, ashamed, or fearful to speak up (to the bully or to an adult), leading to a longstanding cycle of abuse. What to do: Again, communication is key. After all, it’s impossible to stop a problem that you don’t know exists! If your student tells you they’re being bullied, get as many details as possible. Make sure they know that they aren’t in trouble. While addressing the problem with school administrators should be your priority, you may want to explain different types of bullying to better help your student understand what it looks like to recognize when it’s happening to them or others. 3. Boredom Sometimes, students are placed in a grade, class, or school that’s not compatible with their interests, intelligence, or experience. This can cause a child or teen to feel frustrated with boredom. It’s rarer than most of the other causes of school dread, but not impossible. What to do: Review your student’s grades to help ensure that boredom is the problem and set up a meeting with the teacher to discuss your options. 4. Learning Struggles One of the main causes of “school dread” is learning struggles, which can even be present in exceptionally bright students. How, you may ask, can a smart student have a learning struggle? The truth is, it’s actually quite common. That’s because the most learning difficulties are caused by one or more weak cognitive skills. Also referred to as “brain skills,” these fundamental tools are what we use to learn, read, pay attention and remember. They include auditory and visual processing, memory, logic & reasoning, processing speed, and attention. A smart kid with strong cognitive skills in all areas but one may be able to get through school by adapting to make up for one weaker brain skill. Perhaps most of your daughter’s cognitive skills are sharp but her processing speed necessitates extra time to complete a timed test. Or maybe your son is incredibly smart but has attention struggles that keep him from focusing on and retaining what the teacher explains in class. What to do: Schedule a Brain Skills Assessment at a local personal brain training company. These tests typically only take about an hour and results can provide you with a measurement of each cognitive skill to give you insight into which brain skills are strong—making learning easier and faster in every subject—and which could use a boost. If the Brain Skills Assessment reveals one or more weak cognitive skills, consider enrolling in cognitive skills training that uses a one-to-one student-to-trainer ratio to help ensure the best results in the shortest amount of time. 5. Perceptions of the teacher We’d never go so far as to imply that the cause of your student’s school-related dread is the teacher, but sometimes the student’s perception is enough to leave them making up excuses to avoid school or certain classes. A young, timid first-grader, for example, may find that a stoic teacher who is less playful in the classroom comes across as “strict” or “mean.” Likewise, a student who needs extra attention may be perceived as the teacher’s pet, leaving your student to feel as though the teacher doesn’t like them. What to do: Talk to your student about their feelings and ask for specific observations. You may want to sit in on a class to ensure your student’s perceptions aren’t a reality. Consider setting up a meeting with the three of you to discuss your concerns and allow your student to experience the teacher in a more private experience. Depending on your child’s age, you may want to encourage them to make something for the teacher, such as a drawing or card. This could give the teacher an opportunity to build a more personal experience with the student and see their non-academic qualities, such as creativity, kindness, and initiative.