5 Ways Keeping a Journal Can Help You Be a Better Parent

You want to be the best parent that you can be. What if something as simpleas keeping a journal could help you be a more effective parent?

I happen to be a writer, so it makes sense that I'm enamored with thepower of the pen. But it's not just me! In fact, the myriad benefitsof journaling have been well documented by study after study.

Let's take a look at a few of the perks of journaling, starting withsomething every parent can appreciate.

Stress Management If you're alive-and especially if you're aliveand a parent-you are intimately acquainted with stress. The good news is thatthe process of writing down your thoughts and feelings can reduce thatstress. Researchers aren't exactly sure of all the reasons why, butstudies show that it does.

Perhaps it's the process of spending quiet time reflecting, or theidea of taking all that inner turmoil and pouring it out onto the pagewhere it feels a little farther away, or the fact that sometimes, in writingabout challenges or struggles, it's easier to make sense of everythingand even stumble across an unexpected solution or two. Actually, it'sprobably a combination of all that and more.

Attitude Adjustment I'm not going to make the call that grumpy parentscan't be good parents, but I will say that grumpiness makes parenting a lotless enjoyable for kids and grownups alike.

That said, if you're grumpy and want an almost instant attitude adjustment,sit down with your journal and make a list of 25 things for which youare grateful. Or find an encouraging Bible verse or saying, and writeabout what it might be saying to you. Or thumb through your journal andtake note of previous dilemmas that, quite frankly, turned out far betterthan you thought they would. You can also about past victories and takea moment to bask in the glow of those good moments, even if they happeneda long time ago. Hey, you could even make a list of all of the songs you'veheard through the years that can instantly put you in a good mood (andmaybe even make you dance a little). Even making a list of everythingthat's bugging you can be cathartic.

The point is, there are lots of ways journaling can help you put down thepen in a better mood than you were in when you picked it up.

Personal Growth Keeping a journal also allows you to identify patterns in your thoughtsor behavior that you might not have otherwise noticed. For example, aboutnine years after going through a divorce, I was flipping through recententries in my journal and noticed an unsettling trend. At random placesin my journal, in the middle of unrelated entries, I had jotted the thought,"I don't know why my husband didn't love me." Seeingthose words repeated page after page-nearly a decade after the fact!-openedmy eyes to something I might never have figured out on my own: a woundI thought had healed over was obviously festering beneath the surface.Journaling helped me identify that wound so I could get help and takethat tragic question off auto-play in my head.

Even patterns that don't seem "parenting-related" (like theone I just mentioned from my life), are important to identify. Unhealedwounds, chronic negativity, or lies you keep on auto-play in your headcan really impact your effectiveness as a parent. They can also createhurts or issues you unintentionally pass down to your kids. Bottom line,tending to your emotional/spiritual/relational health and growth is criticalto your effectiveness as a parent, and journaling is a great tool to helpyou do just that.

Dream, Plan, and Set Goals Goals, dreams, and priorities naturally work themselves onto the pageas you write, helping you to clarify what's important and what youreally want out of life. From there, it's just a hop, skip, and ajump to making a plan and putting it into action. I like making listsin my journal of all sorts of things-ways to save money, things I knowmake my kids feel loved, date night ideas, what I want life to look likefive years from now, life lessons I want to make sure I pass along tomy children, etc.

Improved Health I've already mentioned that journaling reduces stress, and we knowhow good that can be for both mental and physical health. Here's moregood news: Psychologist and researcher James Pennebaker says that regularjournaling strengthens immune cells, called T-lymphocytes. Other researcherssay that journaling can even decrease symptoms of asthma and rheumatoidarthritis. In fact, in one study conducted at Stony Brook University inNew York, improvements in pain management, fatigue, and overall healthwere documented in participants with breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis,and fibromyalgia when they took the time to journal about traumatic experiencesin their lives for 20 minutes, 3 days a week.

If you don't consider yourself much of a writer, no problem. Thereare very few rules for journaling. Entries can rivalWar and Peace in length, or they can be just a few lines. You can even draw images inyour journal (doodles and stick figures are welcomed!). You can blog online,but I also recommend that keep a private journal, too. Public and privatemusings have benefits that cannot be replaced one by the other. Finally,don't worry about grammar or punctuation in your private writings(blogging, of course, requires a little more attention to good writing rules).

The important thing is to create a small space in your day, every day thatyou can, in which you can get in touch with your thoughts and feelings,and explore those thoughts and feelings on paper.

Anything that can help you manage stress, stop being so grumpy, engagein inner growth and healing, dream and plan, and be healthier is goingto improve your experience as a human being. And that, my friend, is goingto impact your parenting. Happier, healthier people make better parents.So get busy journaling. You're going to benefit, and your kids will, too.