8 Habits and Traits of People with Healthy Self-Esteem

Experts agree that having healthy self-esteem is a foundation of mental and emotional health throughout life. When we have a positive view of ourselves, we are often able to:

Bounce back from setbacks
Not get bogged down by struggles or temporary failures
Let criticism roll off (and implement constructive feedback)
Stay more motivated, even when it’s hard
Maintain relationships in ways that are fulfilling and positive

On the flipside, low self-esteem is often linked with mental health concerns, isolation, lack of motivation, and more.

So for kids and adults alike, what are some habits that can help you foster healthy self-esteem?

8 Traits and Habits to Build Healthy Self-Esteem

#1: Not dwelling on past mistakes

People with healthy self-esteem are able to view the past for what it is, but not let it preoccupy every moment moving forward.

#2: Reframing self-talk to the positive

This is a big one: your inner narrative about yourself plays a major part in how you think about and view yourself. Reframing “I’m stupid,” “I can’t,” or “I’m less than” language to a positive view that values effort and your own accomplishments goes a long way towards building healthy self-esteem!

#3: Willingness to listen to (and respond to) feedback

This can be a hard one, but the ability to appropriately hear and respond to all types of feedback is a hallmark of someone with healthy self-esteem. Others opinions and corrections on things they may be doing wrong won’t devalue them as a person, so they’re open to hearing things more than others might be!

#4: Trusting instincts and in your own ability to make choices

If you have healthy self-esteem, you’re able to trust yourself and your ability to make the best choices in a given situation.

#5: Viewing yourself as valuable and capable

According to psychologist Dr. Brittany Bate, “People with a positive self-perception tend to move through the world with these qualities at the front and center of their interactions, resulting in more positive interpersonal, occupational, and emotional outcomes.”

#6: The ability to celebrate small wins

Healthy self-esteem and seeing progress doesn’t always come at the end of some big project: it’s in the everyday moments where you see glimmers of change (and taking the time to celebrate them!)

#7: Tracking growth against yourself and not others

Comparison is a dangerous trap, and while it can be helpful to set goals based on what you see others doing, healthy self-esteem will be based on seeing your own growth over time, not in comparison to what others are doing.

#8: Valuing progress, not perfection

Ultimately this is what positive self-esteem comes down to! We’re never going to get it right all the time, so the more we can see and acknowledge our progress, the better.